When we discuss coaching someone, it is typically presumed that the person is open to being helped.
But as managers and HR professionals know, that’s not always the case. There may be a hard-working employee who could grow much faster with a bit of support but is resistant to getting help from their peers or even their manager.
This can create a strange dynamic in the workplace. But can you overcome it and get this coaching-resistant employee to accept your help?
Why Do Some People Resist Coaching?
People can be wary of coaching for several reasons, but three common ones are:
- They Think Coaching Means They Are Not Capable
Some individuals may believe that when their manager reaches out and offers help, it is because they are not capable on their own of accomplishing a task or achieving a goal. However, being coached does not imply that that person is not qualified or competent.
In fact, in many cases, it’s the opposite: a company may choose to invest in coaching an employee who is performing well and shows great potential. But if the employee struggles with self-confidence, they may view it differently.
- Change Is Difficult for Them
Coaching typically involves many changes (some large and some smaller). From a person’s beliefs to their preferred approaches for navigating challenges, or even specific actions and behaviors, the coaching-resistant employee may simply not be comfortable with this level of change.
Whether it’s because they believe their way is the right way or have a difficult time navigating new waters, fear of change can be a big deterrent to a person’s willingness to accept help.
- They Don’t Want to Be Held Accountable
Certainly, coaching can be greatly beneficial for the employee who needs more support and to improve their performance. However, that can also be a difficult position for some people to be put in, as it entails being held accountable for their commitments and their actions.
And for some, shedding light on their misses, their failures, or on the promises they did not follow through on, are things to be avoided at all costs.
Can You Coach Someone Who’s Resistant?
Some ways to navigate this situation can include:
- Hear them out. Ask your employee why they do not want to be coached. This can help you understand their position and even clear the air, which could get them to change their mindset;
- Explain your reasons. Tell your employee why you think they can benefit from coaching; both from the perspective of the company and for their own growth;
- Bring someone from the outside. The employee may feel uncomfortable discussing their weakness or fears with their manager or someone else from inside the company. In these cases, they may be more likely to open up to someone from the outside.
It is important to understand that coaching is a two-way street. You cannot force a person to accept your help, but you can try to level with them and understand the source of their resistance. This way, you may identify a better way to support them.
Thanks to my friends at Kashbox Coaching for their help with this article.